I had planned on writing something everyday, but I kept forgetting or I just didn't feel like it.
Some days I just have 0 things to say. At this point my life revolves around 11 people, only 4 of which I am related to. The other 7, well, we'll come to them later.
I am in the process of sewing pillows which I would like to sell, but I must make sure they are absolutely perfect so that people can be interested in them. I am trying to make a living doing what I am decent at and it doesn't seem to be working. This makes me sad.
As a writer, I am the most critical of myself than I am of my work. I feel my stories are never good and they never will be no matter how often I work on them. I am not perfect when it comes to punctuation and grammar and I do not pretend to be, but I feel comfortable with my writing style. It is myself as a story teller that I am not confident in.
As a "seamstress" I am less critical of myself and more critical of the work. I can work a sewing machine and I am good at sewing by hand. So it is not my ability to sew but my ability to sew along the lines to keep the shape of the item. Which I do eventually get. After all, practice makes perfect.
Why is it different? Why is it the opposite two of the things I like to do?
I've lost so much confidence in my writing that I cant even read half of the things I have written myself. There was a time when I dabbled in fanfiction and I can read those stories over and over and add to them as it I just started writing them yesterday.
But my own...
I cant seem to do it. I have thought of doing it they way I fanfiction is written and posted, one chapter at a time. I am not sure where I can do this though. I have registered for Wattpad, but I am not confident in that. Perhaps maybe I can try a blog like this one. I shall see.
This is it for now.
Hasta.
Sunday, September 23, 2018
Wednesday, September 19, 2018
Minimization...
Today will mark my first step towards living a minimalist life. Honestly, I could never live fully as a minimalist because I am also a fangirl but I will work to be less of a pack rat.
I am starting with my emails. I tend to keep emails forever. With my last job, I would keep emails in my inbox for 30 days and then archive them to another folder. I am going to stop that. I am clearing out all my emails starting today. Anything from the past is going to be deleted, unless it has to do with my personal writing.
Once I am done with my emails I will work to rid myself of other things. I try not to be materialistic but as a fangirl of one of THE BEST Kpop groups, it is hard to not be. Before I was into Kpop I had stopped purchasing things such as albums. I did occasionally by one copy from a group I really loved but that was it.
With Kpop they not only have albums, they have more merchandise than the band shirts, hoodies, and beanies I am used to.
That means that since October 2016, I have acquired more stuff than I had previously and am now the owner of things I never thought I would buy.
Being a fangirl isn't new to me. I have been a fangirl of Sailor Moon since I was 9 years old. I bought the DVD sets, chopsticks, purses, trinkets and just about anything else I could get my hands on that was available in America. Just imagine what I would own if I had gone to Japan like I had wanted to.
But now, I feel like I have too much stuff. And clearing out my email as I am doing now, I realize that I tend to hold on to things that I don't need to. So here is to day 1. Emptying my emails of the past that doesn't need to be there.
~Cece
I am starting with my emails. I tend to keep emails forever. With my last job, I would keep emails in my inbox for 30 days and then archive them to another folder. I am going to stop that. I am clearing out all my emails starting today. Anything from the past is going to be deleted, unless it has to do with my personal writing.
Once I am done with my emails I will work to rid myself of other things. I try not to be materialistic but as a fangirl of one of THE BEST Kpop groups, it is hard to not be. Before I was into Kpop I had stopped purchasing things such as albums. I did occasionally by one copy from a group I really loved but that was it.
With Kpop they not only have albums, they have more merchandise than the band shirts, hoodies, and beanies I am used to.
That means that since October 2016, I have acquired more stuff than I had previously and am now the owner of things I never thought I would buy.
Being a fangirl isn't new to me. I have been a fangirl of Sailor Moon since I was 9 years old. I bought the DVD sets, chopsticks, purses, trinkets and just about anything else I could get my hands on that was available in America. Just imagine what I would own if I had gone to Japan like I had wanted to.
But now, I feel like I have too much stuff. And clearing out my email as I am doing now, I realize that I tend to hold on to things that I don't need to. So here is to day 1. Emptying my emails of the past that doesn't need to be there.
~Cece
Tuesday, September 18, 2018
A New Start...
I started this blog on March 5, 2010. I had no idea what I was really going to do with it. I started just chronicling things that had happened. Good things, bad things, and all the things in between.
But I am not the same person anymore. I can't say I've grown up because I am still mentally 17 😂, but I can say that I have changed. Whether it be for good or for bad only the people who knew before would be able to tell you that. None of them are in my life anymore and don't take my mothers word for it, she is biased. She will claim that she is not but at the end of the day, for better or for worse, she loves me.
For now, this is just the start. I have archived every blog post I ever wrote in the past. I will keep them because regardless of how I feel about them, they are my past and I will not run from it.
I really do not know what to write from here. I will be adding things to this useless page as they happen. I am going to dedicate pages to my interests and such. I don't travel and my life isn't interesting but you are welcome to join me on this journey.
~Cece
But I am not the same person anymore. I can't say I've grown up because I am still mentally 17 😂, but I can say that I have changed. Whether it be for good or for bad only the people who knew before would be able to tell you that. None of them are in my life anymore and don't take my mothers word for it, she is biased. She will claim that she is not but at the end of the day, for better or for worse, she loves me.
For now, this is just the start. I have archived every blog post I ever wrote in the past. I will keep them because regardless of how I feel about them, they are my past and I will not run from it.
I really do not know what to write from here. I will be adding things to this useless page as they happen. I am going to dedicate pages to my interests and such. I don't travel and my life isn't interesting but you are welcome to join me on this journey.
~Cece
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